I’ve been meaning to write a post about this for quite so me time. But just haven’t known which direction to take or if I should even be talking about this. But, this is my blog and these are my thoughts so I decided to let go of worrying about ‘if’ I should chat about this.
So here it is.
It seems everywhere I turn, people say, “O you’re so lucky you can’t eat dairy or gluten or packaged foods”…”No wonder you’re so skinny”…”I wish I had your food intolerance’s”…
What?
Seriously?
Yes. Seriously. These are some of the common words out of people’s mouths when I tell them that I’m intolerant to sulfates, most dairy, soy, grains, oils and gluten.
It really struck me last week when I was out to dinner ordering chicken with a side of vegetables and told the server the usual: no oil, no dairy, no marinades, no dressings, no sugar, no gluten. She turned to me and said very sarcastically, “Don’t worry, there won’t be any FAT in your dinner.” Wow. I was shocked. Was she serious? I looked back at her and said actually I am intolerant to these foods and I’d like a sliced avocado with my meal. She then apologized as she realized she spoke too soon and was being quite rude.
This isn’t the first time a waiter or waitress has commented on my order.
To be honest, it happens all the time.
It once bothered me.
Not any more.
And that’s why I’m writing this today. To let you know that you’re not alone. When your body rejects a food or an ingredient in a food and you have a bad reaction- You are allowed to say NO to that food and stay away from it. Don’t feel bad or let other people make you feel out of place or odd.
I often have to meet friends after dinner if they are dining at a restaurant that doesn’t have something I can eat such as Italian, Chinese, Thai, etc.
There’s nothing wrong with this. I’d rather feel good eating my food and then meet friends rather than suffer through a meal only to get so sick I can barely move and leave the restaurant.
I was recently out to dinner with a group of people whom I had just met. I ordered my fish and asked that the dish be served atop vegetables instead of pasta. I explained to the waiter that I am gluten-intolerant and cannot eat pasta, therefore I’d greatly appreciate if they could accommodate me with vegetables. Not a problem. But, when it came to the woman across from me to order, she ordered the same thing and said to our server, “Actually, I don’t want pasta either, I’m going to be good like Amie and not have the pasta because I don’t want the carbs.” I was Shocked. Shocked. And honestly, a bit taken back. It was shocking to hear someone say I was being ‘good’ for not ordering the pasta. What was I supposed to do? Order the pasta and get so ill that I can’t leave the restaurant? Moreover, since when is pasta ‘bad’ and since when are carbs ‘bad’? I was so upset by this and the way that our society views foods as good and bad.
We all eat what we want and what makes us and our bodies feel good. If feeling good means having a bite of dark chocolate or a scoop of ice cream or a piece of cake or a juicy steak, then go for it. Just eat it in moderation. And then simply stick to your clean eating.
Many people think my way of eating is too strict. But it’s not me that’s putting these rules onto what my body can eat and can’t it. It’s the reactions that are caused by all these foods that create my way of eating. I dabble with nut butters and nuts and seeds but have to be careful because if I eat too much of these foods, my body reacts.
Last week, for instance I tried to have two rice cakes with nut butter and cinnamon. Bad reaction.
I also recently tried having a snack of a banana with dark chocolate chips. Bad reaction.
Arg.
Frustration.
And are there days when I don’t care anymore and all I want is a bowl of cereal and crackers and ice cream?
Yes.
And about 3 times a year I do.
And I regret every second of it. Because I’m in pain and swollen for the next 48 hours after I indulge in these foods.
But for some reason, my body wants it and so for these few times a year, I cheat.
Why? Because I want to know what it feels like to be able to eat those foods. I think, ahhh it must be great to be able to just sit and grab a snack and eat these fun foods…
And then I seriously regret it when I’m in bed in pain unable to move. Yuck.
I’ve been teased and made fun of because I cannot drink alcohol and because I have a difficult time eating out (most restaurants use many canned items for meals along with marinades, oils, etc.) but I just shrug it off because my life is about ME.
It’s about feeling good.
And ya know what? Tease me all you want. Go ahead.
It doesn’t bother me.
Why?
Because I’m confident that I am healing.
I have my body to thank for telling me what foods I can and cannot eat.
The gut inflammation was and still is so bad when I eat the foods that I react to. These foods simply are not worth the pain.
But do I miss them?
Heck ya.
Do I wish I could sit outside at the outdoor cafes and eat a cheeseburger and have a beer? Yes.
Do I wish I could simply leave my apartment for the day not having to pack snacks and food to eat when I get hungry?
Do I wish I didn’t have to pack a lunch every day for the 6 years I was in corporate America?
Do I wish I could go on a date with a cute guy and have a slice of organic pizza and then stop by a cute little ice cream shop for a scoop of chocolate on a wafer cone?
Do I wish the person sitting next to me on airplanes didn’t tease me for eating a whole avocado with a spoon in mid-air during my flight?
Do I wish people would understand what it’s like when you can’t simply just stop on a road trip, vacation, walk around town, etc. for a bit to eat anywhere?
Do I wish I could come home to my apartment after an exhausting day and just pop a (healthy) frozen meal in the microwave or stop by the million take-out spots in Manhattan to pick up a bit and get on with my night?
Do I wish I could sit and eat cute little crackers with cheese cubes and enjoy a glass of wine for a pre-dinner appetizer?
Do I wish I could not have to call ahead to hotels to be sure I have a microwave and fridge in my room?
Do I wish I didn’t have to tell white lies to get out of eating at swanky restaurants because I’m not spending $50 on steamed broccoli while everyone else boozes and eats a 5 course meal?
Yes.
I do.
I do wish for all these things.
But I also know that I am special. Therefore, I can make my own burgers. I bring my little cooler on the airplane. I eat at home before meeting friends out on the town. I get cozy in my hotel room making eggs for breakfast and chopping up veggies in Ziploc bags for snacks when traveling. I love packing a brown bag lunch. Why do I love all these things? Because I’ve never known it any other way.
So I just don’t know what it’s like to pop into a restaurant and order anything or go for a road trip without food on hand, or fly without a 3 course homemade meal or walk around Manhattan on a Saturday afternoon without a bag of snacks on me.
I know some day I’ll be able to eat more foods as my body changes.
I always enjoy a bit of dark chocolate and a few almonds for dessert.
The worst part is that there are so many healthy foods that I can no longer eat.
Nothing out of a can, nothing containing sulfates (which is in everything, pretty much), very little nuts, seeds, nut butters, no oils, very little dairy (I can digest Greek yogurt and a few cheeses –very exciting for me), no gluten, no grains, no beans, no sugar, no soy (which is in everything as I just learned there is soy in a Lipton tea that I’ve been drinking).
Crazy, isn’t it?
But what has kept me alive and strong and positive is that I know my intolerance’s will hopefully one day vanish.
Did I get excited to buy ricotta cheese last week and enjoy a few spoonfuls hoping I would not get sick? Yes.
Did I get sick? Yes.
So sad.
But I have to focus on what I can eat and what my body can digest. And I’ve grown to love these foods.
What do I love?
My veggies, my avocado, my eggs, organic turkey and chicken, my homemade salsas, guacamole’s, dressings and marinades. My Greek yogurt, my ricotta cheese and a few other sharp cheeses (Yeaa), my sea vegetables such as Dulse and Nori.
And some others…
As many of you know, on December 3rd of this past year I ate kale from a farmer’s market, I became very ill- suffered from many, many parasites, pathogens, bacteria overgrowth cases, C-Diff colitis, dysbiosis, leaky gut, mercury accumulation and so munch more. I was on disability from my job, on pain killers and steroids for 3 months.
Then, I woke up and realized I don’t want to live my life this way and I switched from Western medicine (Steroids and pain killers and doctors who wouldn’t listen to me) to Eastern medicine working with an M.D. specializing in toxicity and stomach issues. It was then I relieved myself of steroids and pain killers and have been healing myself the natural way ever since.
I’m telling you this story because you are not alone. I woke up every morning from December thru August in chronic pain. Chronic.
What hurt the most during these past few months, you ask?
The fact that my corporate job and western medical doctors thought it was all ‘In Your Head’.
That’s what they told me.
And honestly, that hurt more than the pain in my belly.
So much more.
My pains were real. They are real. There is nothing in my head.
But this caused me so much pain. I could barely sleep at night thinking that my co-workers thought I was out having a blast on disability when I was in the hospital in chronic pain.
Why did they cause me so much pain? Because it made me feel Alone.
I recall waking up thinking … No one is helping me right now. No one.
I exhausted all doctors in Manhattan, New York State, New Jersey and Philadelphia.
No one had an answer.
Until I found my medical doctor whom I am now working with. Who found the key to the lock.
He discovered I am missing a gene. I was born without a gene to absorb Folate.
And, I was suffering from mercury accumulation in my body.
Now, Western medicine tested my heavy metals many, many times but Western medicine only looks at the heavy metal levels in your blood.
Eastern medicine, however tests the mercury in your Body, your Tissues through a urine test.
And that is how I discovered that nothing was in my head.
My instincts were right.
Dead on, to be exact.
So now, I just had all of my mercury fillings removed—long process to say the least.
And, I’m waiting on the results of my mercury levels now that they’ve been removed.
Then, we will take a look at my chelation schedule.
It’s been quite a road and a crazy journey.
But I stayed strong. Stayed positive.
Why?
Because I wanted to fight it to help people like you and me fight it, too.
And all this time…all those days of pain…what’s kept my head up high?
My blog.
My passion for helping people like you.
Knowing there is a light at the end of the tunnel.
And you’re almost there.
xo
Amie!
Not sure if you remember me but we graduated MHS together back in the day. I’m so happy that I found your blog and I’ve been pouring through it for the last hour.
Your blog, business, career, and drive is inspiring. This post is incredible and you’ve certainly had quite a journey with your health and food intolerance. For years I was training for half-marathons and triathlons and just generally active and healthy. Unfortunately, though, everytime I got about 2/3 of the way into my training I would suffer from tendinitis that really just wouldn’t go away. I can’t tell you how many races I’ve had to pull out of at the last minute because I’d be literally crippled. About three years ago I was seeing a chiropractor who was treating me for a double shoulder impingement, inflammation in my knee, neck pain, and ankle pain. Something was obviously really wrong and I had labwork done. Come to find out I’ve got Lyme Disease and it’s chronic.
I was prescribed 4 different antibiotics that I had the pleasure of taking for 4 months straight. My pain went away but it was temporary. For the last three years I’ve cycled back and forth between feeling good and having flare-ups. During flare-ups the only option was a longer protocol of antibiotics than the time before. The months of antibiotics left me with a raging case of leaky gut and just feeling overall icky. I found a doctor who worked with applied kinesiology, food intolerance, and supplementation and it made all the difference. Your fridge, recipes, shopping lists, etc. all look exactly like how I lived for the better part of a year. Because I don’t have an immediate negative response when I introduce foods back into my diet I have unfortunately gone back to my “old” habits and after a year of that I’m paying the price.
Right now I’m home “sick” from work as I’m suffering from a Lyme flare-up and I’m in chronic pain. When you talk about how those at your corporate job thought that it was “all in your head” I know exactly how that goes. Reading this post and your blog has given me the hope and inspiration to go back to what I know is right and what I know will heal my chronic pain.
Thanks for that and keep up the incredible work!
Awe; thanks so much Shannon. Great to hear from you and of course I remember you! Thank you so much for your kind words and for your comment! I am so happy to hear from you. I hope you feel better and I will keep you in my prayers. I know you will get better soon; keep your head up and stay positive.
xoxo
Aims
Love that you are sharing your story–complete with all the positives, negatives, and vulnerabilities. Your journey is such a gift to so many! Cant wait to see you soon!
Thanks Kerr! So great to hear from you; hope your travels are going well. I am so excited for you to be back in NYC soon and I cannot wait to hear all about it. Have fun and thank you for your comment.
Love you!
xooxox
hey Amie,
love you as always, but just for the record- while your’s may be a little more extreme than ours- we are a family full of “it’s all in your head” trips to the doctor. Uncle Todd with his heart condition, me with chronic fatigue and my issued that I am in physical therapy for for the last 3 years now (9 years of chronic pain). I also, as common as diabetes is, people still know very little about it and what I cannot or (a bigger deal) actually can have. Most people are, yes, joking about the things you cannot have b/c they are ill-informed about intolorences like yours. With mine they freak out about the fact that I am eating something that, god forbid, their eight cousin’s great great grandfather couldn’t also eat 112 years ago!
this probably sounds a little snottier than it should,. for that’s I’m sorry–
point is everyone has something like this… yours just happend to be more extreme but you can handle that just fine. If not you wouldn’t have been given the challenge (cliche, i know), you wouldn’t have done the blog, the career, the magazine and so on… b/c there is plenty!
Love you so much
this is a just coz I love you and you’re not alone with all of this stuff
xoxo
Awe; thanks lovey! Great to hear from you and I miss you and the cousins so much. Hope everyone is well and hope to see you soon…maybe we can all get together around the holidays!
Thank you for your comment..you are so strong too.
Love you and have a great day!
You know there is something insidious afoot when people compare themselves to the people around them. This is what I was thinking as you shared your recent dining experiences above. Instead of listening to our bodies, sometimes what ends up happening is watching how the people around us respond to the situation and following suit. I have done it myself unwittingly and other times with presence of mind. And this probably has more to do with people who don’t know you than those who do and know that your laundry list of intolerances is very real and not just “being good”. Comparison to me is insidious because it keeps what makes us unique stifled and instead sometimes a point of contention. You and I have talked about this and about food intolerances and I guess what cropped up for me in your sharing your thoughts on this was how comparison seemed to be at the root and how understanding happens one conversation at a time particularly about food intolerances or allergies.
Aweee; I was just thinking of you!!!! I miss you darling; thank you for your comment and for reading my blog. I love hearing from you and hope to see you in San Fran soon. xooxox Have a fabulous day and thank you again. Muahhhhhhhhhh So happy we’ve met and are working together!
You are so strong and amazing! You are an inspiration to everyone Amie!
Cant wait to catch up next week!
Awe; thanks Al! You are so great. I am so excited to chat this weekend and honestly we need to get together soon and finally meet! I love ya; thank you for your comment and have a great night. xoxo
Hi Amie! I hate to admit this, but I think I messed up. I have been receiving an e-mail every time someone commented on your site, which was not my intention. I just wanted to “follow your site.” Anyway, I am hoping that I did not quit subscribing to your very informative and interesting blog. I would like to receive notices about your posts, but not the comments from other readers pertaining to your site. (No offense meant to your other readers, I sometimes like to read others reactions, but would like for that to remain at my own discretion. Thank you. I hope I can continue to glean from your experience.
God Bless,
PJ
Patti,
Thank you; no offense taken. Just make sure that when you leave a comment that you uncheck the box that says ‘send me follow up comments’. You are not subscribed to my blog according to my dashboard, therefore you can just sign up and you’ll receive the blog posts in emails. Thank you; have a great night!
best post ever 🙂 (not that i don’t love your recipes!) but it was so great to read. i’ve been GF for 5 months now, and testing dairy-free for only 2 weeks but am going to see if i need to continue that. i can’t easily digest non-fermented soy either, so avoid most of that too. even with the GF part I get looks and rolled eyes and skepticism … and “no WONDER you’re a stick” kind of comments. glad you can let it roll off your back now, and i hope your healing continues steadily! my sister and several other friends are on Gaps, which is pretty restrictive too and it’s really hard to be with my mom now because she takes our intolerances as criticisms of what she serves now, and what she fed us as kids … it’s hard to convince her otherwise! but onward to health :).
What is Gaps?
Hi Jenn, Gaps stands for Gut and Psychology Syndrome, and is basically a diet that goes in stages in order to rebuild your gut flora from scratch, many stay on it for 2-3 years but report all kinds of healing (allergies, autism, etc.). Starts with bone broths and some boiled veggies, and goes from there. Details are here if you want to read more : http://gutandpsychologysyndrome.com/diet/
Thanks Bethany; love hearing your wisdom…xoxo
Awe; I love you! You are so kind and thoughtful! I miss you; thank you for all of your support. I cannot honestly thank you enough for being such a loyal reader and for your thoughts and prayers.
Love you.
xoxo
Amie, THANK YOU!!! I want to send this to all the people who have made comments about my small frame and pick at me when I order certain foods at a restaurant. I’m not trying to be skinny, I’m trying to feel healthy. I WISH could eat some of the things other people eat.
I have always been a picky eater and think it all goes back to my not being able to eat gluten but just now realized it. I used to say, I don’t like that because it gave me a stomach ache. I used to eat donuts every once in awhile at work, but now that I have to cut out gluten from my diet, I have to say, “No thank you.” It really hurts my feelings when people say, “Why not? You should have 3, your too skinny!”
Thank you again! You made feel so much better for saying, “No thank you!” 🙂
Thank YOU! It is so great to relate to other women facing these crazy things….isn’t it? Thank you for making me smile and for your comment. I am so happy to have heard from you. Happy Friday! Xo
Thank YOU darling; so great to hear from you! Your comment has made me smile and I thank you so much for expressing your thoughts and sharing your words with me. It makes me happy to know that I’m not alone out there and there are other strong women out there facing similar comments. We need to stick together and stay strong! Thank you again, you truly made me smile.
xo
Thoughtful post Amie.
I won’t’ go into anything not already said. I think it’s a fine line because many people DON’T suffer from serious conditions such as yours but have eating disorders and use abstaining from these foods as excuses.
I know you mentioned the pasta too…the question I ask though about the carbs – you said you would eat it if it weren’t gluten. But I would venture to guess that if this place offered gluten-free pasta, you wouldn’t take it or rice, etc. And that’s your choice and what you want. As long as people can be honest and recognized their intentions.
Thank you Jen. So great to hear from you. I am sorry that there are people out there who use the excuse as a disorder. For myself, if I could eat the pasta I would but at this time I am unable to digest all grains therefore I would not be able to order any pastas. Hopefully some day soon I will be able to eat pasta! Im staying positive and hoping that day is soon. Gave a great Friday.
Ahh, bless you Amie. Thank you for opening your heart and sharing this so that many of us can feel a little better about where we are on our journey. I’m so happy that you’re feeling better and I know you’ll be able to eat nut butter on rice cakes soon enough 🙂 xooxxo Have fun in Dallas!
Awe you are great! Thank you so much Maggie! Xxxooo Have a fabulous weekend. Wish you were here in Dallas. Muahhhhh
I think you are very brave and I’m so sorry that people are so insensitive!
Great post and many thanks!
Thank you Anita; I am so happy to hear from you. I greatly appreciate your support and I look forward to hearing from you in the future! xo Have a wonderful night.
Wow. Just, wow. And I thought I had it bad! LOL
(HOW did you know it was the kale, by the way??)
Anyway, I wish I knew what was “wrong” with me. I feel okay most days, but I have times of extreme bloating and heaviness in my gut. I know that gluten bothers me so I avoid it like the plague. But I’m sure there’s more I should avoid, and I don’t know how to pinpoint it. And frankly, it makes me sad to imagine doing without all those things. Doing without gluten isn’t so bad. But dairy? Soy (only b/c it is in EVERYTHING)? Wine? Chocolate? Coffee? I love those things! LOL. (Of course I thought I loved gluten and I’m fine without it.)
Just want to say, keep on keeping on! It’s a tough road and so little is known about food sensitivities that often people are rude, and doctors are misguided. I’d love to know more about the doctor you found who is helping you.
Thank you so much Jolynne; so sorry for the delay in response to your comment as I’ve been traveling and unable to get to a computer to respond!Your blog is amazing and YOU are an inspiration to me; I was thrilled when I saw your comment and delighted to hear that you read my blog. The doctors traced everything back to parasites on the kale and that is what sparked the pathogens, bacteria overgrowth and c-diff colitis along with all the antibiotics the western medicine doctors had me on.
Thank you for your kind words; I love you darling. Your comment means so much to me and I thank you for everything! I am honored to have such amazing support from readers like you.
xoox
Amazing post. Don’t think for one second there aren’t SO many people out there suffering in silence for the same reasons. I have gone through a lot similar experiences and I can empathize 100%. Blogs like this are so good so people know that aren’t alone either and we acan all learn from each other. I am way overdue for talking about my food intolerance on my blog. Its just such an undertaking. But you have inspired me!!!
Thank you, Carli; so great to heart from you. I am so happy to hear that I have inspired you and please do send me the link when you blog about this and let your feelings out on your blog, as well. It was tough to do, but honestly it felt so good to let all of this bad energy out. I’m staying positive and keeping my head up. Just hurts so much to know that my old job still won’t talk to me and hurts more than anything, especially since I was so sick and in so much pain.
Thank you again; keep your head up and hope to chat soon. You are amazing and your blog is fabulous.
xoxo
Hey Gal! First off, thank you for accepting my friendship on Facebook. Any friend and moral supporter of Blue Cotton Memory is a friend of mine. Also, I admire you for speaking out on your health issues, especially “sticking to your diet” in restaurants. (Of course I understand also it’s not by choice unless you want to accept the consequences of getting sick.) I guess I’m different in the sense that if another of my party talked about me being “good” I would clearly speak up and say “it’s definitely not by choice”. That way you don’t have to go into detail about health issues, yet others would probably take the hint. As far as the waitress is concerned, I waitressed for over 30 years and I have seen and heard just about every conceivable dietary substitution you can imagine, but I never commented, because first of all it is our jobs to make sure the customer gets what they want without question. It is none of our business as to why. Only if there is a clause on the menu or sign on the wall which says “NO SUBSTITUTIONS” should we question. Even then, if asked, out of courtesy we should inquire if there is a medical reason, then talk to the chef or cook. It is the waitress’s job to make the customers happy.
I must say though, I am guilty sometimes of insensitivity. For example, I’m a bit over weight (about 50 pounds) and some ladies in my church have been very ill and lost a lot of weight. When they recovered and returned to church. I said, “I wish I could lose as much weight as you.” Then quickly added, “but by my will power, not by being sick”. They didn’t lose the weight by choice, so I shouldn’t make light of it.
God Bless,
PJ
Patti,
Thank you so much; I greatly appreciate your kind words and comment. You took the time to write such a wonderful comment on here and I cannot thank you enough for your honesty and for sharing your thoughts and your story, as well. You are so strong! I am so happy to hear from you and delighted you read my blog. Have a great night and I look forward to hearing from you in the future. Have a great night and keep up the amazing work.
xoxo
Thank you!!! My husband is gluten intolerant at least five years. When I started not having gluten junk around (so he wouldn’t be tempted), I started feeling healthier, as Jon said cleaner.
People just can’t stand anyone who is different either by choice or requirement. Thanks for the encouragement to stand up and remark in a way that helps them to see that they are rude and arrogant without insulting them. Because of your article, I’m proud to take my health into my own hands and choose healthy living. Keep up the good work. I really enjoy your blog. Thanks
Thank you, Donna. So happy to hear from you and I am so happy to hear that you are enjoying my blog. I am so glad that I made you feel proud to take your health into your own hands when no one else belives you and no one supports you.
Thank you for making me smile; have a wonderful night and I look forward to your future comments.
xoxo
Amie – Just found your blog. What a story! I had no idea someone could live with such dietary restrictions. But I feel really empowered suddenly by reading this post reading about how you are stepping up to the plate and not letting food and others dictate how you should live your life.
I am REALLY happy to read that you are getting a handle on what is wrong and how to fix it. I have done a similar diet for 2 weeks and it honestly felt like the CLEANEST way to live. My body finally “evened out.” Even though I can eat gluten, I do notice that I just feel like crap (mostly sluggish) every time I eat a gluten product.
Thanks for the post! You have given me a lot of new ideas!
Jon,
You just made my night! THANK YOU. You are amazing and I am so happy to hear that you are feeling better and evened out. It’s so great to connect with readers like you and I am delighted to keep in touch and I look forward to your future comments. Have a great night and keep feeling GREAT!
I love this post — and I’m glad it’s so detailed. I think that so many “diets” (not losing weight, but nutrition choices) are becoming trendy, and the fact is…for many people, it’s a serious health issue. I love that you shared your honest experience, and I hope people read and think hard.
Thank you, Katy!!! So great to hear from you. I am so happy to hear that you enjoyed my post and I really appreciate your comment and expressing your thoughts. I am so glad that I revealed all of this information to my readers to let them know that you can’t hind behind your pain and there is no need to be embarassed!
xoox
Have a fabulous night and so sorry for the delay as I’ve been traveling!
Good for you for not only believing in yourself enough to do what you need to, but for saying it out loud. I hate having to justify why I eat how I eat, so I’ve stopped doing it, take it or leave it, it’s just me! Thanks for sharing!
I’m so glad you wrote this brilliant blog post Amie. You are such an inspiration to me. Your reflections really hit home on so many levels. Thank you for your honesty and courage. You are wonderful!
Thank you so much Pauline! Xxxooo Love you. Muaahhhh