I’ve been meaning to write this post about my story for quite some time.
So here it goes.
The past few months I’ve met so many amazing men and women through my press trips and conferences across the country. It’s been such an incredible experience- traveling and bonding with others from Alaska to Maine who have had similar experiences to me- they’ve experienced something that’s been life altering.
And that’s where it all starts.
It only takes one.
Just one person to connect with to feel like you’re not alone in the world.
Every party I attend, every dinner I’m invited to, every entertaining extravaganza whether it be a BBQ or a wedding I’m always the odd gal that can’t enjoy the decadent food and alcohol. But I’m okay with that. Actually I’m more than okay with that- I’ve learned to love what makes me different and not be embarrassed anymore.
Why?
Well, simply because life is too darn short.
And so when I’m at a party and someone makes a snarky comment about how I’m not eating or how I stand out for not being able to enjoy the event- I simply just smile because they just don’t get it.
And it wasn’t until last month when I met my soul mate friend who has dealt with stomach woes and pain her entire life- that I realized I’m not alone.
There are so many other women out there dealing with the same situation but they’re embarrassed and too scared to talk about it. Why is that?
Why do so many women feel like there is something wrong with them when it’s simply how they were born? Why do they try to hide the fact that they can’t eat the foods everyone else can or drink the alcohol everyone else can?
Why?
Do they want to feel included? Are they embarrassed? Are they scared of what others will think?
Well, I hope not. Because feeling included, being embarrassed and worrying about what others think is for high school- and golly gee- we are far beyond high school, aren’t we?
I’ve learned not to stress about what others think about me when I eat before I go out to dinner with friends or bring my own food to weddings and events. I decided a long time ago that I’ve gotta be my own best friend and take care of me- and worry about me.
So, when I travel- there is always a fridge in my hotel room and I am always the woman who asks to speak with the chef before I sit down to dine- I am always carrying food on me even if it’s just while I’m out running errands because I’d rather feel safe munching on an avocado on the subway instead of starving and searching for the nearest Whole Foods Market.
Yes, I am that girl.
And I love it.
Every single part about me I love.
But it wasn’t always like this.
I once yearned to eat a chocolate chip cookie from Magnolia Bakery or sip dirty martini’s at happy hour with my VOGUE colleagues to meet cute Wall Street boys.
I once wished I could be like my colleagues at Ralph Lauren and join them for frozen yogurt during lunchtime at Bloomingdale’s.
I once wished I didn’t have to pack a lunch to my NBA job so that I could eat in the corporate cafeteria and feel cool.
I once wanted to know what it felt like to be able to leave my apartment on a Saturday morning- head down to Soho and eat a burger n’ fries at Felix. Or sip cosmos on the rooftop of the Soho House without having to think ahead about food options that I could eat.
But I don’t anymore.
I don’t really know when this all stopped.
Or when I stopped caring.
Or trying to impress people with my big corporate job and new Prada bag.
Actually I do.
It was last year- when I was told I had 24 hours to live.
And I fought and fought and fought.
And never, ever gave up.
And I did some yoga, some meditating, some reading and a whole lotta thinking. About me, my life and my future.
And I healed.
And that, my friends, is when I realized life is too short to care or worry about anything else.
And I started to focus on me, Amie Jo, and my tiny, simple life in the big (not so simple) city of Manhattan.
And it was then that I knew I was confident to stop proving something.
I stopped feeling like I had to explain myself in every situation when people asked, “Why aren’t you drinking?” “Why can’t you just suck it up and eat the pasta and bread basket?”
They didn’t get it.
Because they could wake up every morning, jump in the shower, grab a coffee at Starbucks and a muffin at Dunkin’ Donuts and hop on the subway to work- then break at 12 for lunch at subway and another break at 3 for frozen yogurt- then hop on over to a bar downtown for nachos and beers until 11PM when they jumped in a cab and headed home to bed – only to start the whole thing over and over again until Friday.
Me, well I’ve never had that routine- nor would I ever want to.
One, I packed lunch everyday when I worked in corporate America because I couldn’t rely on a take-out restaurant for a meal. And two, I have to take my enzymes, vascular pills for my water retention and a whole line up of vitamins and minerals an hour before I eat every morning. And this is just one example. I am not complaining as I am lucky compared to so many others in this world who are on medications or can’t walk or talk or function without machines or a 24 hour nurse.
I am blessed that I am who I am but it also took me awhile to get here.
And that’s simply why I’m writing this post today. Because so many people out there just simply don’t “get it”.
They don’t understand what goes behind the day to day routine of someone else’s life. They don’t understand what it takes to just prepare for a two day road trip or an airplane flight or a week’s worth of food for homemade breakfast, lunch, dinners, snacks and desserts. They don’t understand what it feels like to not be able to eat gluten or dairy or sugar or grains. They don’t. And that’s okay. Because why would they?
I used to be jealous of what others could do, eat and not have to plan ahead- I did.
I wanted to be like my colleagues and friends who could enjoy their day and night without having to worry about where they were going to find a piece of organic chicken and steamed veggies.
But I’m done worrying. I’ve been done for quite some time now.
I’ve learned it’s all about being prepared- staying prepared and making sure you’ve always got a lil’ something to hold yourself over just in case the unexpected happens.
And for those who don’t get it. Don’t hate them. Don’t get upset if others make you feel ‘out of the loop’ or feel like you’re not a part of the group because seriously- you know your body better than anyone else and you need to take charge of you and your body now and every day in the future. Because without supporting yourself- there’s nothing.
That’s right.
So, the next time someone asks you, “Why are you lame and not going out to the bars?” or “Why can’t you just have a cheeseburger and beer and deal with a stomach ache?” Just smile and don’t get upset or frustrated because there are many of us out there that deal with these comments and many of us who are confident enough to not let them bother us.
Life is simply just too short.
And if eating a cheeseburger and drinking a beer is going to make you sick for days in bed- is it really worth those 20 minutes of feeling ‘cool’ and fitting in?
I didn’t think so.
Think of it like this…everyday we are given a handful of change. Everything we do takes a nickel, dime, penny or quarter until we are left with nothing and exhausted by the day’s end.
What do I mean by this? Well, picture this scenario of a day I might have. You wake up in the morning with a stomach ache and it takes (a quarter) to get out of bed and (another quarter) just to shower, along with a (few dimes) to get yourself dressed and take your medicine (that’s a quarter) then you make your homemade breakfast (another quarter) but you’re in so much pain with your stomach and running to the bathroom that you realize you are late for work and already exhausted. Then you walk to the subway (a dime) and go to work (lots of quarters) and make your lunch in the corporate kitchen (some more quarters) then head home on the subway (a dime) to make your homemade dinner (another quarter) and relax in front of the television before all of your change is gone.
The point of this handful of change is that you can think of each penny, nickel, dime and quarter as a piece of energy to your day. Many people wake up and carry on with their days and don’t use any change because they have no food allergies or implications – while others are faced with a few twists and turns that can be exhausting and add up throughout each day. It’s nothing to be embarrassed about- actually you should be proud. But just remember, when it’s 6PM and your friends are asking you to go out drinking or to a bar and you’re just not feeling it- don’t worry- look to your change and see how much you have left for your energy for that day. If you have some change left and you feel you wanna go out- go for it and have fun even if you’re not drinking (I love getting a seltzer with lime). If not, save your change (your nighttime energy) and put it towards making a bubble bath, reading a book and doing a face mask- then tuck yourself into a cozy bed.
Because it’s the little things in life that will keep you happy.
And life, to me, is all about being happy with yourself.
I did it and so can you.
So, keep that chin up and keep smilin’.
Your day is coming.
Your day is truly coming.
xox
This my friends, is the start of my book…I’ve decided to write a book/cookbook to inspire others and here I go…
You know I’ll buy your book! Bravo to you for reaching a point where you don’t care about fitting in and appreciate all that you have and can do! You’re one awesome woman and I am proud to know you!
Awe sending you a huge hug all the way out to Seattle; I love ya Iris. Thank you for your support; you are amazing…xoxo Enjoy August!
After almost a year and a half my mother has finally stopped telling me to “just have a taste” or “there’s only a couple tablespoons of flour in the whole recipe”. I don’t know that she gets it but she seems to and will now ask me for recipe substitutions so I can eat her food too. Like you, I’m through apologizing. After diagnosis I was kind of mad…even though I knew what the outcome would be. While I had to gluten-load for the blood work I was miserable. For those of us who will listen to our bodies, we know when something isn’t right. It wasn’t right to feel sluggish and weepy and be running to the loo every 30 minutes and to be constantly gassy and bloated. Then there were the migraines….the heartburn…the painful joints and vision problems. And the cramps! Don’t even get me started. No morsel of food, no matter how delicious or decadent is worth feeling that way. At least not for me. Like Rachael said, we didn’t ask for this. Who would? There are so many things I wish I could eat/drink but can’t so I try not to waste my energy on lamenting it. I don’t want to give any of my allergies or intolerances that much power. They took enough. Wow, I guess your post helped me feel more feisty and empowered again! Thanks! Your blog is awesome!
Awe; Lisa…so nice to hear from you! You just made me tear up. I love hearing from all of you and you are all so incredibly amazing. Just remember that you are not alone and your day will come darling! Find love through other things such as a walk or a hot tea and your family or friends…finding love and happiness through food isn’t how we can live our lives, unfortunately with food allergies – it was so hard for me to adapt to this and to do this but we can all learn something and I thank you so very much for your comment and time.
Enjoy your afternoon!
xoxo
Keep your head up darling; good days are coming!
Good days are here! As long as I do what is right for my health I’m good. I can’t be the mama I need to be if I am sick. Other than myself, my 16 year old daughter is my biggest advocate, which is awesome. But having had a chronic illness herself for 10 years, she knows what it’s like. This has been difficult to adapt to but having had other allergies diagnosed prior, I know the drill. I really think I need to cut out dairy too but that one is particularly difficult. Oh well.
Thank you so much Lida; so happy you have shared your thoughts here. We’re all in the same boat but keep your head up and stay strong! There is a light at the end of the tunnel.
xoox
Beautiful post! It was inspirational to read. I am so looking forward to reading your book/cookbook! Best of luck writing it.
Thank you so much Candice; so nice to hear from you! Have a great Sunday night and thank you again! oxo
What can I say?…I knew you would. You are a true inspiration simply because you believe in yourself and are living YOUR true life. No matter what that may mean for anyone, the point is to not let others get in your way. You are an inspiration and I only hope one day I can be a writer and believe in myself enough to believe it.
Thanks Jen; you will get there and you can do it. Start writing today and believe in yourself. You can do it!
What a great post, Amie. So many of us on special diets go through this all the time, and we need to get to the point where we are more focused on what is good for us (and not those “dirty martinis”–whatever they are!!) and you are leading the way. Way to go, girlfriend! And congrats on the book–looking SO forward to it!
Thanks Ricki; you are so kind for reading this and commenting. That means so much to me. LOVE YA darling and miss you already. Hope you are having a lovely summer thus far.
Hugs to you!!!
xox
Great post, I have similar health issues when it comes to food. IvE been a vegetarian by choice since I was 5, then about 3 years ago I started having stomach and bowel pproblems every day and I was in agony with cramps and constant diarrhea, I thought I probably had an allergy to wheat so I started to avoid it in my diet, but I didn’t re
Thank you so much Rachael; great to hear from you and thank you for your story. I was there once too with stomach pains everyday but I’ve found that I have to avoid many foods and stick to what my stomach likes! Hope you are feeling better; so nice to hear from you. Stay positive and keep your head up!
Hi Amie, there was something funny going on with my phone last night it kept submitting my posts before even finished them. but basically i just wanted to say that i so glad i have stumbled onto your blog as it gives me the courage to be brave enough to say that i have health issues and that is the reason i carry a packed lunch, or bring my own dinner to a dinner party or bring half a suitcase full of gluten free vegan food when i travel abroad. Having allergies puts me off going out and going away as i always have to explain why i can’t eat this or that. For 20+ years i had to constantly explain why i was vegetarian which didn’t bother me so much as it was a moral decision. but saying I’m a wheat free, mushroom free, peanut free, low yeast and low sugar, virtually alcohol free vegan is a bit more difficult. it seems every time i meet with friends there is a new food group to add to the list and i am still transitioning as the vegan part is newest allergy … also in process of giving up caffeine (as i drink a cup of tea bold me), my liver is sluggish at the moment and I’ve been advised to kick the caffeine too. I’m finding caffeine withdrawal more difficult than the dairy or wheat, because with other foods i feel a benefit to giving them up whereas the caffeine i feel the withdrawal. people do judge you for wanting to be healthy and think that you are just boring, which is just ignorance. But i am going to stop apologizing for my allergies and stop saying sorry for being awkward as i didn’t ask for this either, and embrace this new healthier lifestyle. Thanks for your inspiration and lovely recipes, i look forward to your book as well.
Thank you Rachel; so nice to hear from you! I am so sorry for all you have been through but just remember things could be a lot worse and just be happy that you are able to wake up and feed yourself everyday! Don’t let anyone else make you feel insecure or upset about your stomach aches- food intolerances because your feelings are up to you- if you want to choose to not let their words bother you then you won’t! Keep your head up and stay positive.
Have a wonderful night and thank you so much for your time and your beautiful comment.
xoxo
You are not alone, just remember that!
You. Go. Girl.
I do all that for my family. It’s so true. Folks as wonderful as they are, frequently don’t get what is required to HEAL. The planning, the coordinating and the things that we go without. We are frequently calculating our spare change and modifying our lives so we don’t overdraft. Seven years into our journey, and we are so much better off then before we began. Glad to year you are too. Good luck with your book, looking forward to reading more.
Thank you Karen! So nice to hear from you. Hope you are having a great summer and hope to keep in touch. Thank you again Karen!
I feel like you just read my mind. I can’t wait for your book. This post is like everything I’ve wanted to say but couldn’t write down as perfectly as you just did. Thanks for this!
Awe; Andrea thank YOU! You are too kind. I am so happy to hear from you; have a great night darling. xoxo
Thank you! This is a wonderful declaration. I was diagnosed 3 years ago and the only “problem” I have with this disease is other people’s perceptions. I was shocked at how many people took it seriously when Kim Kardashian said whatever she said about gluten. Ridiculous that is isn’t “real” until a celebrity says it is, then all of a sudden, everyone must have it. Thank you for being a real human who struggles!
Cyndi- so great to hear from you! Thank you for sharing your story with me. Thank YOU for taking the time to write to me; you made my night. xox
i agree Cyndi Ivy its not until someone ‘cool’ has an allergy/intolerance that other people can relate to it. When was away with friends and in the process of discovering that i was best to avoid wheat or i’d end up on the loo, my friend tried to tell me she too had IBS but the bread over there was different to home and didn’t bloat her, so i thought well maybe a little wont hurt. Stupid of me, as we set off on a 6 hour car journey with me stopping every 30 mins for a toilet break. I was so sick for 5 days it almost ruined my holiday meanwhile the friend shrugged it off as if i was imagining the symptoms. And then i was awkward as i wouldn’t take a chance when eating out and would just order salad at every dinner. In one way i do hope that someone famous has these issues because maybe for some people that’s the only way to relate it to them unfortunately
Hope you are feeling better Rachel! Stay positive; things could always be worse and we just have to be happy that we can do all that we can even if it does mean staying away from certain foods. Have a wonderful night and thank you so much for your comment!
Amie~ you are amazing and this post is absolutey beautiful. I am feeling so inspiring to live in my truth! Sometimes I even hide that truth from myself. Thank you for writing this and I am so excited to read your book 🙂
Thank you Mikelle; so nice to hear from you.Thank YOU for your time and for your comment. xoxo Hope you are enjoying your weekend! xo
Beautiful post darling… gorgeous… you will motivate and inspire SO many others with this post, and even more with your book! I’m so happy to hear that you’re writing a book, and I’ll do whatever I can to help you spread the word 🙂 xox
Heather,
Thank you so much! You are so kind. Thank you for all of your support. Hope you are having a wonderful weekend. xoxo
AMIE,
THIS POST WAS WONDERFUL YOU ARE GOING TO WRITE THE BEST BOOK,AND YOU WILL BE HELPING SO MANY OF US. YOUR STORY MAKES ME CRY, I HAD NO IDEA HOW SICK YOU WERE, I AM SO HAPPY TO SEE YOU WELL NOW. I KNOW HOW HARD LIFE CAN BE AND HOW STRESSFUL DIFFERENT HOW IN THE DAY CAN BE, PREPARING MEALS, SHOPPING FOR THE MEALS AND TRYING TO TAKE SUPPLEMENTS EACH DAY IS HARD ENOUGH AND NOW SINCE I FEEL BETTER I AM ABLE TO EXCEPT SAYING NO TO PEOPLE WHO ASK ME WHY CAN’T I HAVE OR GO TO CERTAIN RESTAURANTS I LEARNED IT IS ALL ABOUT ME FIRST AND WHAT I AM ABLE TO EAT. I ASK ALL THE QUESTIONS YOU DO WHEN I AM OUT IN A RESTAURANT . THANK YOU FOR ALL HAVE DONE, HAVE A GREAT WEEKEND.
You just made me smile Beverly! Xxoo Thank you so much for your thoughtful comments as they truly mean so much to me and I am sending over a big hug to you!
Fabulous post Amie; you are a gifted writer and I’m sure your book will be a roaring success! I wish you all the success in the world and thank you for always sharing! PS I had no idea you were given 24 hours to live, thank you for sharing such intimate details and helping so many out there! xo Lisa
Thank you Lisa! I hope to meet you on person one day soon as I love chatting with you and love your work! Keep it up darling and enjoy your weekend!
Xxxooo
What an inspiring post & story. Thank you so much for sharing. I think for many Celiacs & food allergy folks we can definitely understand how uncomfortable social settings can sometimes be. However, as you said, we can’t be ashamed and instead have to embrace life. It’s something I fully heartedly agree with and support.
Thank you Alaine! You are so kind and I was thrilled to see your comment today! Thank you for your kind words and support!
Xxoo
Your book will be a smash hit. I have met so many people who have to exclude a lot of things besides gluten that it makes me realize how lucky I am. I am a celiac and as long as I leave gluten alone, I can lead a very good life. By the way, my husband is gf as well because of fear of contaminating things in the kitchen. He still thinks that your oatmeal walnut waffles make the best pancakes he’s ever eaten! I do too.
Awe thank you Barb! So happy to hear he likes the pancakes! I really appreciate your support and I truly hope you have a great summer with lots of yummy gluten free food! Xxoo
Yay for speaking your truth and stepping both feet into your journey. Not everyone can do that. I’m honored to know you Amie. Here’s a good quote for you “All know the way, few actually walk it.” Bodhidharma
Thank you so much Maggie! You are such an amazing friend and I truly hope to meet you in person soon to give you a huge hug! I love you and greatly appreciate your support. Enjoy your weekend! Xxoo Skype soon!!!
Lovely post… I think anyone with gluten or other food intolerances, IBS, IBD, etc has all struggled with these feelings and insecurities before. I know I’ve certainly suffered many a night to simply “fit in” during the moment. Thank you so much for sharing your story!
Thank YOU Amanda! So happy to hear from you. Hope you are feeling well and being proud of you and your belly too!! Xxoo
Amie, you are an amazing woman! I am so glad that you know what is important in your life and how to amplify your happiness! I am sure that your book will be fabulous, just like everything else you do! Keep on….
Awe; you just made me smile. Thank you SO much, Renee; enjoy your weekend.
xoxo
Love ya darling!
I admire you so much, Amie! Thank you for being a source of inspiration for all of us who aim to treat our bodies better. xo
Thank you Krista; you are so kind. xo
Awesome post…I am so sorry for you..and all the restrictions you have, but you are at peace with them and that is what is most important. I am gluten free by necessity. For 2 years I suffered with crashing on the weekends in bed after a full week of work…painful joints…..I thought I had fibomyalgia….or chronic fatigue syndrome. I finally went to a naturapath who forced me…to go on an elimination diet. She knew what it was all along..I didn’t…and the minute I re-introduced gluten…bang..symptoms reappeared…It was gluten…now that I am gluten free I do feel better…but I also have crohn’s disease..a double whammy. I have gained a ton of weight..and my energy is still very low..compared to others…I continue to exercise daily by walking my dog…and it continues..I really limit the “gluten free” flours..because they are all starch..and that would definitely add to my weight gain….it’s a constant struggle…of feeling angry and deprived…but knowing in the long run I am better not eating junk anyway…Nice post..nice place you are now in…congratulations..
Thank you so much Stephanie; so great to hear from you! I greatly appreciate your kind words and your comment. I am so sorry to hear about your pain and I am keeping you in my prayers. Keep your head up and stay strong!
Enjoy the sunshine today and thank you again for your comment.